Blog - Newborn Advantage

There are many reasons why people choose gestational surrogacy. Health issues may prevent a woman from getting pregnant or carrying a baby to term, or infertility issues may prevent couples from conceiving. Same-sex couples who would like to have children may choose surrogacy. Single people who want to have biological children may also consider surrogacy. However, no matter the reason, people who choose gestational surrogacy share one thing in common: they all want to welcome a child into the world, and have the chance to grow their families. Here are five key reasons why gestational surrogacy is growing in popularity around the world.

1. Infertility issues are on the rise.

Infertility is common—and it’s increasing. In 1950, there was a global average of five children per woman, according to the United Nations. In 2020, there was an average of two children per woman. While these statistics indicate a global decrease in fertility, the biggest decreases are in developed countries. The United Nations Population Fund reports that Southern Europe, Eastern Europe, and Eastern Asia have the lowest fertility rates in the world, with an average of 1.5 children per woman.

One of the reasons for this decrease is because many men and women in advanced countries are waiting longer to have children, often choosing to complete their education or begin careers first. While this is a positive development, advanced age does impact fertility, for both men and women. In the United States today, 10 to 15% of couples are infertile, according to the Mayo Clinic. The World Health Organization estimates that between 48 million couples and 186 million individuals live with infertility globally. While infertility is not the only reason to choose surrogacy, it is one of the biggest reasons.

2. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is growing.

The International Journal of Women’s Health and Wellness recently reported that more than 8 million babies were born with the aid of IVF since it was first introduced—and estimates suggest that by 2100, 3% of the world’s population will be born using IVF and other fertility treatments. As IVF is becoming more common, gestational surrogacy is, too.

3. Advances in technology are making IVF more successful.

Since IVF was introduced more than 40 years ago, many advances have been made. Some of the most important ones include cryopreservation of surplus embryos, intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) for male factor infertility, chromosomal screening by preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), mitochondrial donation or three-parent IVF, cryopreservation of ovarian tissue, and uterine transplantation. As IVF methods continue to improve, success rates will rise. This will likely lead to more individuals and couples seeking gestational surrogacy.

4. Gestational surrogacy is becoming more widely accepted and available.

Between 1999 and 2013, gestational surrogates gave birth to 18,400 babies, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). A CDC report from 2016 noted that the number of embryo transfers performed on gestational surrogates nearly tripled over a relatively short time period—from 1,957 in 2007 to 5,521 in 2015. Biospacerecently projected 24.8% growth in the gestational surrogacy segment over the period from 2019 to 2025. Unlike traditional surrogacy, which is banned in many locales, gestational surrogacy is legal in many U.S. states and countries, and laws are becoming more accommodating. Gestational surrogacy comes with fewer emotional and legal complexities than traditional surrogacy. It also gives intended parents the opportunity to have a child with whom they share a genetic connection.

5. Awareness of infertility and surrogacy is increasing.

As more people become aware of infertility treatments and gestational surrogacy, their popularity will continue to grow. Today, many organizations advocate for infertility awareness. For example, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association hosts National Infertility Awareness Week each year, promoting advocacy and access to care, support and education. Organizations like the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, Hadassah, PCOS Challenge and others are also advocating to raise awareness of infertility issues, decrease stigma, and advocate for policy change. For many people struggling with infertility, gestational surrogacy is an attractive family building option—and as more people learn about this choice, its popularity will likely continue to grow.

If you’re considering gestational surrogacy, Newborn Advantage can help.
Contact us today to learn more.

When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage or loss, the grief can be heartbreaking. Surrogacy loss is particularly devastating for intended parents, who may have already experienced difficulties with pregnancy and conception. Of course, it’s not just parents who grieve the loss of a child. Surrogates are also deeply affected. While many organizations are dedicated to helping parents after a loss, few exist for surrogates. When Camila Vintimilla, a first-time surrogate, experienced a pregnancy loss, she decided to create an organization to support surrogates. She partnered with Kristin McQuaid, intended mother of the child Camila was carrying, and together, the two women founded London is the Reason, named in honor of London Quinn Dixon, who was born on July 14th, 2021 at 7:42 a.m. and was stillborn. We interviewed Camila about the organization’s goals and her own surrogacy journey. While Newborn Advantage was not the surrogacy agency that worked with Camila, we do support London is the Reason and the mission they represent.

Why did you choose to become a surrogate?

I had a friend who had been unable to conceive, and I began researching surrogacy to help her find resources. I located a surrogacy agency and filled out an application—not intending to actually become a surrogate myself, but just to get more information. As I read about surrogacy, I was so impressed by the generosity of the women who become surrogates, and I wondered if it was something I could ever do. Miraculously, my friend got pregnant. Meanwhile, I got a call from the surrogacy agency, who wanted me to meet a couple. I talked about it with my husband and we decided to at least have a conversation with them. What would be the harm? We ended up having the couple for dinner, and we knew right away that it was the right family for us. We just clicked.

In the beginning, how did the surrogacy journey go?

At first, everything seemed perfect. The medical testing and transfer were successful, and I became pregnant in four days. Everything went smoothly the first trimester, and I never had a day of morning sickness. The rest of the pregnancy went as expected. Throughout the process, I communicated regularly with the intended parents, and we had a great relationship.

What happened leading up to the loss?

Since I already have two children who were born via C-section, we scheduled a C-section for July 14^th, at 39 weeks. That morning, I went in for the operation, and when they went to put the heart monitor on the baby, they couldn’t find a heartbeat. Everyone and everything became silent. I had just listened to her heartbeat the day before on my home doppler, and everything seemed fine. Just five days prior, I had visited my OB, and all had been well. We were all devasted. London was stillborn. We proceeded with the C-section with broken hearts and left the hospital the next day with zero answers. Zero explanations to anything. It was at that moment that I realized something had to change.

How did the medical staff respond? Did you feel supported?

The doctors and nurses were very upset and told us they cried for days. The hospital dressed the baby in a white gown donated by an organization that supports parents after the loss of a child, and they had some resources for Kristen, but there was nothing for me. I went home empty-handed. It seemed like no one knew what to say for a surrogate who loses a baby, because it’s not our baby. But for most surrogates, we still love that baby as if it was our own, and we are just as devastated by the loss.

What advice would you have for doctors, nurses, and hospitals about how to better support surrogates after a loss?

I would recommend that they consider the surrogate’s feelings, and show compassion. In my case, the doctors and nurses were clearly emotionally affected by what happened, and while their empathy was touching, it is the person closest to the grief who needs the most support. When I came in for my follow-up visit, I was so upset and anxious about the appointment, I had to talk myself through what I was going to say, practice it out loud, and coach myself not to cry. When I came in, the first thing my doctor said was, “I was so nervous about this appointment today, and worried that I was going to cry.” I was sad that she felt that way, but I was the one who had lost a child. It doesn’t seem fair to ask a grieving person to comfort you; it means they have to suppress their own grief. It would have been nice to have been asked how I felt, or referred to a grief counselor.

Did a counselor or therapist come to see you at the hospital at all?

No. No one from the hospital came to comfort me. Fortunately, my intended parents were there and were very kind and supportive. The surrogacy agency did refer me to a therapist, and she was helpful, but she admitted that she did not have any experience working with surrogates. Providing an on-demand counselor for surrogates who experience loss is a goal that we hope to accomplish with London is the Reason in the future. We are actually working on that now.

What else could hospitals, caregivers, and surrogacy agencies do to better support surrogates through loss?

It would be helpful to let surrogates know that the loss is not their fault and to share with them that they are not alone. I asked my doctor, “Does this happen often?” and she replied, “No, this almost never happens.” Thankfully, the intended father, who is a doctor himself, was there, and he shared with me that miscarriages and pregnancy losses are actually very common—and they are even more common with IVF. About 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the Mayo Clinic. Stillbirth affects about 1 in 160 births, according to the CDC, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.

Information like this is helpful after losing a pregnancy. If you hear that losses are rare, you begin to blame yourself. When you look at the actual numbers, you know that you’re not the only one.

It sounds like your intended parents were very supportive. How did they help you get through the grief?

They were amazing. Kristin and I talked on the phone for hours, and we text each other all the time. We comforted each other. Steve, the intended father, was very supportive, too. Right after it happened, he sat with me, looked me in the eyes, and told me he knew that this was not my fault, and there was nothing I did that caused this to happen. It was so encouraging to know that he did not blame me because I did feel so guilty about what had happened.

Why do surrogates sometimes feel guilt after a pregnancy loss? What would you say to encourage a surrogate who is feeling this way?

Most surrogates have had successful pregnancies. We are “good” at pregnancy, and that is part of the reason why we chose to be surrogates. So it is very surprising and shocking to us when a pregnancy does not go well. Also, we understand how much intended parents go through, and we have formed a strong relationship with them prior to the baby being born. We know how much they want this baby, how much they love this baby, and how much they have invested into it. Because of that, we almost can’t help but feel guilty if we lose a pregnancy, knowing how much it is going to hurt the intended parents. We worry about the costs, and we worry that they are going to blame us. So, we may start to blame ourselves. I would tell anyone who loses a pregnancy that it is not your fault. Surrogates are such giving and selfless people, and you have already gone through so much to become pregnant, and given up so much to carry someone else’s baby. Some pregnancies do end in miscarriage or loss, and it is not always preventable. There is no reason to feel guilty—and you are definitely not alone.

Where can surrogates experiencing loss get support?

Our website, londonisthereason.org, has many resources for surrogates. We have stories from other surrogates who have experienced loss, we have a support group that meets monthly via Zoom, and we also have a list of websites, links, and resources for other organizations that can help. In the future, we hope to have a therapist available 24/7 via phone, text, or chat. We are also reaching out to surrogacy agencies across the U.S. to connect and share information. We would like to be able to provide more resources for surrogates, such as brochures and Boxes of Healing for intended parents.

Tell us more about the Box of Healing.

The Box of Healing is one of our most important projects. We donate boxes to hospitals for intended parents and gestational surrogates who experience infant loss. Each box contains a book, a devotional journal, letters from other surrogates or intended parents who have gone through a loss, a necklace or bracelet, and helpful information and resources. Surrogates’ boxes are a bit different from intended parents’ boxes, ensuring that each recipient receives items customized to their experience. So far, we have donated 500 boxes to Baylor Scott & White, which is where I delivered London. We have plans to donate boxes to hospitals across the country.

Have you met and connected with other surrogates who have been through similar experiences? Is it helpful?

Absolutely. I have met many surrogates who have experienced infant loss, and we help each other get through it. We talk on the phone, text each other, and encourage one another. Our website can be a good resource to help surrogates connect.

What advice would you have for intended parents who are wondering what to do after a surrogacy loss?

Intended parents need support and encouragement through their grief. A surrogacy loss is different from a normal pregnancy loss, and at London is the Reason, we believe that they deserve access to resources created just for them. Since the intended mother does not carry the baby herself, she will not experience the physical and hormonal changes that a surrogate will. However, intended parents have planned for their baby’s arrival, built up their hopes and expectations, and felt love for their child. Their grief is real, and they should take time to process it and heal.

I would also suggest that intended parents think about their surrogate’s feelings, and act with compassion. I was lucky to have amazing, supportive IPs, but I know that is not always the case. I have talked to surrogates who dealt with anger or blame from their IPs, and that was devastating for them. IPs should understand that surrogates connect with the babies they are carrying, and we love them, too. Please don’t blame the surrogate, or send hurtful texts or emails.

Of course, it is understandable for IPs to be concerned about expenses and legal matters, in addition to the loss. They have spent so much time and invested so much in preparing for the arrival of their baby. The surrogate understands and feels that loss, and it tends to add to the guilt of losing the baby. It is crushing. One surrogate shared with us that she was at the hospital, about to give birth to a stillborn child, and IPs were texting her legal documents and copies of the contract with highlighted portions. She just couldn’t deal with it at that time and referred them to the agency. Even though she was heartbroken for the IPs, they never spoke again. I would ask IPs to please remember that this is a loss for the surrogate too, and like you, she is grieving. The surrogacy agency is your point of contact for legal and financial matters.

What can surrogates and IPs do to prepare for the potential of pregnancy loss? Would it be helpful to have information on the topic prior to the surrogacy process?

Yes, I think it would be helpful for IPs and surrogates to have information on surrogacy loss — especially how to prevent it. Not all miscarriages and infant losses can be prevented, but a significant portion of these losses are preventable. For example, sleeping on your back instead of your side, especially during the last trimester, is connected with a higher rate of pregnancy success. With some pregnancies, there are problems with the placenta that can cause infant loss. Identifying these problems early could save a baby’s life. At London is the Reason, we are working with other organizations to create brochures, flyers, and other resources to share this information. We are also working with lawmakers to advocate for increased testing.

How can we support your organization and its good work?

To learn more about surrogacy loss, access resources, or donate to our organization, visit londonisthereason.org.

Newborn Advantage is proud to support London is the Reason.

We believe every surrogate is amazing, and every surrogacy journey is meaningful. We encourage you to visit londonisthereason.org to access resources, donate, and share the website with others.

If you’re considering surrogacy, it’s normal to worry—after all, it’s your baby. However, many common surrogacy concerns are actually misconceptions. We spoke with Jennifer B., a Newborn Advantage client and new mom, to get an intended parent’s perspective on 10 Surrogacy Myths and Misconceptions. Here’s what she had to say.

Fear #1: Even though my baby is genetically related to me, I am worried that I may have trouble bonding after the baby is born.

JB: I can understand this concern, because I physically carried my first daughter—so I had already given birth—but then I had a uterus problem. I worked with a surrogate for my second child, and I was worried not only that I wouldn’t bond with my baby, but even more that I wouldn’t bond in the same way as I had with my other child. However, that ended up being a huge misconception.

A surrogate birth is beautiful because you are able to enjoy it more. Being there for the physical birth of your child, when you are not mentally and physically under duress, is an incredible way to bond with your child. With my first child, I was freaked out, my body was on fire, and I had a C section—all these negative things were happening, and the focus was more around my own body than around my baby. With my second, the focus was on the baby. I had the privilege of watching her come into this world, and I was the first person to hold her skin-to-skin. I bonded with her immediately, just as I had immediately bonded with my first daughter.

I also want to point out that people have bonding concerns all the time, even without surrogacy. Moms may wonder if Dad will bond with the baby. Will he still be able to love the baby, even though he didn’t carry him or her? Of course he will. There are so many ways to bond with your baby.

Fear #2: I am concerned that I won’t be able to connect with my child during the pregnancy because he/she is being carried by a surrogate.

JB: The connection during pregnancy, for me, was more to the surrogate than to the baby.
I have a deep affection for our surrogate, and even though my daughter was born almost four months ago, my surrogate and I still talk several times a week. We will remain close friends forever.
During a pregnancy with surrogacy, because you’re not feeling the baby kick, dealing with the effects of the pregnancy, there is less of a physical bond. However, after our baby was born, because I had not been carrying the baby, I felt great. I felt like myself. Instead of recovering from giving birth and having surgery, I was at my best. I could be up all night and not resent it. The other thing I would point to is, for women who may have gone through a miscarriage or had problems with previous pregnancies, it’s actually nice to be able to dissociate a bit from the anxiety of pregnancy itself and focus more on the relationship with your surrogate and planning for the baby at home.

Fear #3: I am worried that I won’t be able to trust a perfect stranger. Will the surrogate eat well? Will she take care of the baby as if it were her own?

JB: I think this concern stems from one of the biggest misconceptions people have about surrogates, and it’s the worst one, in my opinion. Many people are suspicious that the surrogate is just doing this for money, and that they don’t care. That is absolutely not the case. I interviewed many surrogates, and they were all similar in that they were mission-driven. They had made a family for themselves, and they wanted to help someone else. All the surrogates I spoke with seemed to have a calling, and felt that by being a surrogate for another couple, they were doing something good. Many were religious or spiritual and felt they were doing God’s work, which I also believe.

The idea that surrogates smoke and drink and will eat poorly is just not accurate. Women who become surrogates love being pregnant, love having children, and want to help others become families themselves. And because they’ve already been pregnant with their own children, they know what is medically necessary to carry a healthy pregnancy. I was also worried about this initially, but after meeting and talking to several potential surrogates, my perspective changed completely. My surrogate was also very honest. When I asked if she drank alcohol, she said, “I have a drink every couple of weeks, but when I’m pregnant, I don’t.” Surrogates are loving, wonderful people who are trying to help. They are like angels, sent from God.

Another note on the concerns about diet— one of my best friends is a pediatrician. I asked her, “What if she eats a different diet than I do?” She explained that the reality is, as long as you’re not drinking, smoking or doing drugs, and you take prenatal vitamins and have enough food, the baby will be just fine. Obviously, you don’t want the surrogate to eat a pound of tuna every day, but people all over the world have babies, in very different conditions, eating very different things, and they turn out fine.

Fear #4: I’ve had problems with pregnancy, and I worry that pregnancy with a surrogate won’t be successful, either.

JB: I had a very late miscarriage, so that was certainly a fear I had. One of the benefits of surrogacy is that you can relax and separate things in your mind. Since I was not physically pregnant, I didn’t have to worry about whether I was miscarrying if I had a cramp or was spotting. Also, since I was not hormonal, I could be more rational. Just because it happened before, doesn’t mean it will happen again. It’s nice to be able to separate yourself a bit from those fears.

Fear #5: What if I don’t get along well with the surrogate?

JB: I was so grateful to have the opportunity to work with a surrogate, that this was not as much of a worry for me. Whether or not she would be my friend forever wasn’t the first priority. But I also happened to love my surrogate, and got lucky in this respect because she truly has become a close friend. We have an incredible bond. I think the most important thing is, like anything else, you want to make sure the surrogate has the same values and you can trust her, work with her, make mutual decisions as you would with a friend, husband or co-worker. It is important to understand that often surrogates come from different places than their intended parents in terms of geography, demographics, or even religion. I live in the city, and I love that my surrogate lives in the countryside. We had so much fun. Your surrogate won’t look, talk, or act like you. You aren’t going to find your twin to carry your baby. But just like any other relationship, you grow into it and it is uniquely beautiful.

Fear #6: What if the surrogate changes her mind and wants to keep the baby after it’s born?

JB: I understand the concern, but these women aren’t trying to “get” you. A requirement for surrogates is that they have already had children of their own, so it’s not like they don’t know what it’s like to have a baby, or are doing this for the first time. They know what they are getting into, and they are very happy to do it. If a surrogate wanted to have a baby, she would simply have her own baby. In the case of my surrogate, I gave her and her husband full access to the baby in the hospital, and brought the baby to her house after the birth to meet her children and show them what a beautiful thing she had done for our family. It was almost like our children were cousins! She loved our baby, and never wanted her for herself.

Something I did not consider at first was that the surrogate actually has more reason to be worried than the intended parents. What if you don’t want to take the baby? That is a big concern for surrogates. They’ve already completed their family. What if the parents don’t show up? Of course, this is all covered in the legal agreement, and both parties are protected, but the concern goes both ways as well, which is why trust is so important on both sides.

Fear #7: I have legal concerns about working with a surrogate. What if the surrogate does not hold up her end of the agreement?

The agreement has provisions in place to protect everyone. In gestational surrogacy, the egg is legally not the surrogate’s egg. Eggs are provided by either the intended mother or a donor, and sperm is provided by either the intended father or a donor—so the surrogate is not genetically related to the baby at all. In the past, it might have been my husband’s sperm and the surrogate’s egg—but that isn’t done anymore (to my knowledge). So technically, it’s not legally possible for a surrogate to keep the baby.

We also had a pre-birth order that my husband and my names were to go on the birth certificate, and that our baby would be discharged to us, not our surrogate. So legally, after birth, it continues to be our egg, our sperm, our child.

Fear #8: I’m worried that I won’t be able to breastfeed my child, and I don’t want to miss out on that opportunity for bonding.

JB: I had that same concern. I breastfed my first child for a year, and thought it was the only way to bond. Now, I know there are many different ways to bond with a baby. Providing for them physically is a great way to bond, and cuddling and giving them a bottle is just as effective from my experience.

I explored re-lactating. In the end, I decided not to try to lactate because it is often unsuccessful, and would require me to take substantially more hormones, when I had already done that for multiple rounds of IVF. I did want my child to have breastmilk though, so I posted on Facebook that I was having a baby through a surrogate. I ended up receiving over three months’ worth of donated breastmilk. There was an amazing community of moms who came together to help me.

Fear #9: I have preconceived notions about my surrogate, but I know they may not be true. After I am matched with the surrogate, will I have the confidence to move forward?

JB: I have had this conversation a lot with families considering surrogacy, and I tell them, “You will feel so much better once you meet your surrogate.” The scariest thing is the fear of the unknown. But once you meet your surrogate, it is no longer a scary, nebulous concept. Your surrogate is actually a real person with a name and a face. You no longer worry, “What will she be like? What will I be like?” You just feel so much better.

We interviewed many candidates and could have gone with several of them. When I met our actual surrogate, we were totally on the same page with our goals and our redlines, and she was wonderful. I felt so much relief. Maybe everyone doesn’t have that exact experience, but once you get to know your surrogate, it’s different. She said, “I want to treat my body like it is yours.” She even asked, “Are you comfortable with me getting a flu shot?” before we had even signed a contract. I replied, “Absolutely,” and she didn’t have to ask—but those small interactions start to build trust and take the mystery and fear out of the surrogacy process.

Fear #10: What is a misconception you had about surrogacy, or a worry you had about surrogacy?

JB: I was concerned that we would be very, very different people, and that it would be difficult to relate to one another. One of the most beautiful things about surrogacy is that it brings two different families together in ways they never would have otherwise interacted.

I was holding chickens on her family’s farm a few months ago. I had never even been on a farm before. What, to me, was a fear or a misconception, that you’re totally different and that’s a bad thing—was actually a wonderful thing. I’m Jewish, and she’s Christian. I was worried she wouldn’t be comfortable with that. In fact, it was just the opposite. We talked about our different holidays and traditions. She asked if she should modify her diet to keep Kosher while she carried the baby. It was so sweet, especially since I have never even kept Kosher. It was amazing to see that while we were different in many ways on paper, we are actually very similar and happy about our differences, and excited to learn about one another.

Any closing thoughts?
Surrogacy was a great experience for me, and I enjoyed working with Newborn Advantage. I love spreading the word about surrogacy. It’s a wonderful, life-changing experience.

Do you have any concerns or worries about surrogacy? Let us know.

Call or contact Newborn Advantage today to discuss any questions you may have. We look forward to hearing from you, and welcome the opportunity to be part of your surrogacy journey.

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy—but if you’re struggling with infertility, seeing happy families and children celebrating may bring unexpected feelings of sadness or isolation. When your own dreams of becoming a parent seem elusive, it can be difficult to attend family events, open holiday cards or even scroll past social media posts without feeling a little blue. Fortunately, there are positive ways to cope with these feelings, for a happier holiday season. Here are our Top 10 Holiday Triggers for people experiencing infertility, along with simple strategies to deal with each one.

1. Holiday Cards

Beautiful, smiling couples with cherub-faced children gathered around a Christmas tree are intended to spark joy—but if you’ve been unable to conceive, these images may remind you of the child you wish you had. To improve your mood, why not create your own holiday photo? You could get professional photos taken with your significant other or even a pet, reminding you that your family is already complete. Or, take a selfie dressed in your holiday best, or your funniest Ugly Christmas Sweater. Even better? Find a matching sweater for your pet. It’s hard to feel sad when you’re smiling.

2. Friends with Kids

Holiday gatherings can be a strong emotional trigger, especially when friends or family members bring their children. This year, with COVID-19 limiting gatherings, you may not have to worry about seeing little ones—and if you prefer to avoid these situations, it’s easier than ever to opt out. If you will be around children, one way to cope with potential sadness is to focus on the children you encounter as unique individuals, instead of reminders that you don’t have children. Look for ways to connect with these little people, and you may be surprised how rewarding it can be. Kids love attention, and are usually delighted when an adult takes time to play with them. Whether it’s a game of peek-a-boo with a baby, or an UNO game played over Zoom, spending a little time with a child might brighten your day as much as it does theirs.

3. Holiday Traditions

Photos with Santa, ice skating, or decorating gingerbread houses may seem like holiday traditions made just for families—but there’s no reason you can’t create your own holiday traditions. Schedule a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride through the snow with your significant other. Sip hot cocoa and watch a Hallmark movie. Or drive through your neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. Whatever it is that brings you joy in the holiday season, just do it—and allow yourself to enjoy the moment.

4. Social Media Posts

We’ve all seen those perfect Instagram photos of newborn babies snuggled in fur, families building snowmen, or toddlers reaching milestones. It’s normal to feel envy when witnessing someone else’s life, especially when it’s presented with such polish and flair— but if you find yourself comparing your own life to others’ social media profiles, take a moment to reflect on the reality behind these shots. Few people’s lives are as ideal as they are presented online. By all means, we should be happy for our friends—but we should also remember to take social media profiles with a grain of salt. The easiest way to ease negative feelings from social media is simply to take a break. Delete the app from your phone for a while, or limit your time to just a few minutes per day. You can also hide posts from people who “trigger” you. They’ll never know—and you’ll spare yourself some emotional turmoil.

5. Oversharing

Speaking of social media, it’s not always about what others post—your posts can trigger stress and anxiety, too. Some people enjoy using Facebook and Instagram to share details of their fertility journey, express their feelings, and read friendly comments. For others, posting too much information can invite unwanted questions and advice, doing more harm than good. Remember that it is up to you what you choose to share with others. Posting less may be wiser in the long run.

6. Nosy Questions

Are you pregnant yet? When are you having a baby? Is there something you want to tell us? Even the most well-meaning friends and family members may ask questions about your fertility that are none of their business, and can leave you feeling anxious or sad. The good news? You can answer them any way you like. It’s OK to tell a nosy questioner that you would prefer not to be asked that question again. Or, if you prefer, it’s OK to give them a vague answer, or tell them why the question bothers you. If you prepare yourself for these questions in advance, and remind yourself that the questioner probably doesn’t realize the hurtful feelings they are causing, it can be easier to deal with them.

7. Feelings of Loneliness

Many people feel alone during the Holiday season—which means, by definition, you aren’t alone at all. This year, even people with large families may feel lonely if they are unable to gather. (Or, conversely, after being in lockdown with the same people for months, they may be desperate for solitude!) If you are feeling lonely, consider joining an infertility support group. There are many such groups online, accessible through social media groups, or your local fertility center. It can be comforting to discuss your feelings with others who are facing the same challenges.

8. General Feelings of Sadness

Sometimes, you don’t need a trigger to feel sad—your feelings alone are enough. If you find yourself unable to focus on the positive, try focusing on someone else instead. This time of year, many people are suffering from loneliness, financial hardship or even hunger. Donate to a local food bank, volunteer at a food pantry, give to an animal shelter, or make virtual visits to nursing home residents. Sometimes doing something kind for someone else can make you feel better, too.

9. Thinking About the Future

If thinking about the future is causing you anxiety, it can be helpful to focus on what you can control—and create a game plan to move forward. Today, there are many options for people struggling with infertility, including adoption, in vitro fertilization, and gestational surrogacy. It’s always a good idea to talk with a fertility specialist, who can help you explore options and create a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C to realize your dreams of building a family.

Make your New Year bright.

If you’re interested in surrogacy, call Newborn Advantage to discuss options and start planning your journey. We are always happy to answer any questions you may have. Happy Holidays!

Chances are, you know someone who has breast cancer. One in eight women (13%) will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer in their lifetime—and one in 39 women (3%) will die from breast cancer. Fortunately, early diagnosis and treatment can save lives. From 1989 to 2017, about 375,900 breast cancer deaths were averted in the U.S., thanks to improvements in treatment and earlier detection.¹ Many people who advocate for breast cancer awareness do so in honor of someone they care about—and at Newborn Advantage, we do, too.

Newborn Advantage Founder, Mindy Berkson, has a heart for breast cancer patients, and has helped many women explore surrogacy options after battling breast cancer.

“I have had many clients who had breast cancer in their 30s, and their cancer treatments stripped them of their fertility,” Berkson says. “Surrogacy can be a great option for people who want to have children after cancer.”

While breast cancer is rare for women in their 30s (it accounts for less than 5 percent of all cases), it does happen—and it’s also the most common cancer for women in this age range.²

When breast cancer affects women in their childbearing years, their fertility may be affected, but there are still many options to explore. Women who have not yet begun cancer treatments may be able to preserve their biological fertility by freezing an egg or embryo. If this is not possible, another option is egg donation. Through gestational surrogacy, using a woman’s own previously frozen egg, or a donated egg, women who lost their fertility to breast cancer can still become mothers.

“When breast cancer is diagnosed and treated early, many women are able to overcome it, and go on to live long, healthy lives,” Berkson says. “Surrogacy gives them back something that cancer could have taken away—the ability to become a mother. It’s very rewarding to see that dream come true through a successful surrogacy journey.”

As part of her advocacy for breast cancer awareness and research, Berkson serves on the board of the American Cancer Society’s Dallas Chapter. Her son, Jason Berkson, is a top fundraiser for the cause and an active member of American Cancer Society’s Real Women Wear Pink initiative. Last year, his fundraiser was the organization’s second-highest fundraiser in Dallas—and this year, with your support, it could be the first. Click here to visit Jason’s fundraising page and donate to this important cause.

“Every day, the American Cancer Society is saving more lives from breast cancer than ever before,” Jason says. “They’re helping people take steps to reduce their risk of breast cancer or find it early, when it’s easier to treat. They fund groundbreaking breast cancer research and they’re working to ensure access to mammograms for women who need them. By raising money and awareness through Real Men Wear Pink, I’m helping to save more lives from breast cancer.”

In addition to his online fundraiser, Jason is also selling T-shirts made by Puppymelons, a nonprofit organization created to raise funds for The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and The Breast Cancer Research Foundation (BCRF). Proceed from this exclusive design will support the American Cancer Society and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Donations to the American Cancer Society are always welcome—but Jason’s fundraiser ends on October 31, so give today, if you can.

“Your donation will help women across the U.S. get access to life-saving breast cancer screening and treatments—and it will also help advance research to improve the treatments currently available,” Mindy says. “This cause, like surrogacy, is dear to my heart—and I hope you’ll join us in supporting breast cancer awareness and research.”

Donate now

¹American Cancer Society. Breast Cancer Facts & Figures 2019-2020. Atlanta: American Cancer Society, Inc. 2019. https://www.cancer.org/content/dam/cancer-org/research/cancer-facts-and-statistics/breast-cancer-facts-and-figures/breast-cancer-facts-and-figures-2019-2020.pdf, accessed 15 Oct. 2020.

² Healthline. Everything You Should Know About Breast Cancer in Your 20s and 30s. Healthline, 2020. https://www.healthline.com/health/breast-cancer/breast-cancer-20s-30s#takeaway, accessed 15 Oct. 2020.

There are many reasons to become a surrogate. Becoming a surrogate mother is a generous act, giving the gift of life to a child, and giving intended parents the opportunity to build a family. Surrogate compensation can bring new opportunities to your life, too, such as the ability to stay home with your children, enroll in college courses, or make a down payment on a new home. Becoming a surrogate can also be very emotionally rewarding. Surrogates often form long-lasting relationships with intended parents and their children. If you’re curious about how to become a surrogate, this blog will help you understand the surrogacy process, surrogacy requirements, and how to get started.

What are the requirements to be a surrogate?

Surrogacy requirements differ from one agency to another, but in the U.S., they generally are based on the recommendations of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine. At Newborn Advantage, our surrogates must meet the following requirements:

• Be between 20 and 42 years of age (depending on your state laws—some require you to be 21)
• Height and weight in proportion (BMI 30 or below)
• Healthy physical condition
• Non-smoker
• Have demonstrated uncomplicated pregnancy(ies) and delivery(ies)
• Free of sexually transmitted diseases
• Not dependent on government assistance
• Must pass criminal background verifications

How much do surrogates get paid?

Surrogate compensation varies from state to state, and by region, but on average, Newborn Advantage surrogates earn renumeration starting at $30,000. Surrogates who have prior experience can earn more than first-time surrogates. (As with any career, experience counts.)

How does the surrogacy process work?

The surrogacy process will vary from one surrogacy agency to the next, but the general process of becoming a surrogate includes the following steps:

1. Find a reputable surrogacy agency.

When choosing a surrogacy agency, look for one with an established history in the industry, positive reviews from both surrogates and intended parents, and a caring, personal staff. Don’t be afraid to call a surrogacy agency and ask to speak to someone. In addition, it is important to make sure an escrow account will be set up for you to ensure that funds are available for your payments over the course of the pregnancy and can be made in a timely fashion.

2. Review the surrogacy agency’s requirements to see if you qualify.

Most surrogacy agencies will have their surrogacy requirements listed on their website. If they don’t, call and ask.

3. Complete an application and submit it to the surrogacy agency.

4. Provide your medical history and social history information.

This step usually takes place after your application has been reviewed. Some
surrogacy agencies use an automated system to qualify candidates. While this
may reduce costs to the agency, we take a more personal approach at Newborn
Advantage. We walk each accepted applicant through a detailed profile,
asking questions about your goals for becoming a carrier, and making sure to set
realistic expectations. We want to make sure you’re comfortable with surrogacy,
and with us. There is never any obligation to proceed if you don’t feel we are the
right agency for you.

5. Complete a physical evaluation.

The physical evaluation will ensure your body is healthy enough for pregnancy. This helps protect you, and increases the chance of a successful pregnancy.

6. Complete a mental health evaluation.

Surrogacy is an emotionally intense experience, for surrogates and intended
parents. This evaluation will ensure you are prepared for the challenges of becoming a surrogate. You may also be asked to meet with a social worker for an in-home assessment.

7. Pass a background check.

8. Match with intended parents.

If you pass all of the required checks and screenings, your surrogacy agency will recommend you to intended parents. Your surrogacy goals, personality and preferences will all be taken into account, to find the best match. You will have the opportunity to meet with intended parents either in person or via videoconference, to get to know one another better and decide whether or not to move forward.

9. Complete a surrogacy contract.

When intended parents and surrogates are successfully matched, your surrogacy agency will help facilitate the creation of a legal surrogacy contract. This document will specify the terms of the arrangement, including surrogate compensation. All parties must sign the surrogacy contract.

10. Undergo fertility treatments.

To prepare for in vitro fertilization (IVF), you will be required to undergo fertility treatments. This will include blood testing, prescription medications, injections, and ultrasounds.

11. Transfer the embryo.

With gestational surrogacy, the intended father’s sperm (or donor sperm) is used to fertilize the intended mother’s egg (or a donor egg) in a laboratory. The fertilized embryo is then transferred into your uterus for implantation. The procedure is painless and no medication is required, although you may be asked to rest at the fertility clinic for a few hours, and avoid heavy activity for a few days.

12. Receive prenatal care, and visit your doctor regularly.

You will be required to visit your doctor for scheduled check ups throughout the pregnancy. The costs of doctor visits will be fully covered through your surrogacy agreement.

13. Deliver the baby, and relinquish it to the intended parents.

The completion of your surrogacy journey can feel very rewarding, as your pregnancy ends and the intended parents finally get to welcome a new baby into their home. Many surrogates keep in touch with intended parents after the surrogacy journey is complete, and enjoy seeing photos of the babies they carried as they grow with their new families.

How do I Become a Surrogate?

If you’re interested in becoming a surrogate, please contact Newborn Advantage today to receive an application. If you have any questions, or would like to learn more, feel free to contact us by completing the form below or calling 847-989-8628. We look forward to hearing from you.

COVID-19 has disrupted daily life for people around the world, from the loss of loved ones, to the loss of income, to closures of schools, businesses and restaurants. For expectant parents, coronavirus and pregnancy are causing concern—and when it comes to surrogacy, COVID-19 is having an impact on intended parents and surrogates, too.

However, even in the midst of this challenging time, there is hope. It takes time to grow your family, and now is a great time to start the process. Here at Newborn Advantage, we are still open and serving our clients, with virtual capabilities to help you start planning today to grow your family in the near future. Here are 6 things you can do now to move your surrogacy plans forward.

1. Create a foundation to build your family.

These days, we’ve all been spending more time at home—and despite the frustration of feeling “cooped up,” this extra family time is bringing us closer. While you’re at home with your loved ones, focus on building a strong family, enjoying the present, and planning the next steps of your surrogacy journey.

2. Identify a surrogate.

Currently, most fertility clinics are temporarily closed to prevent the spread of COVID-19. This means in vitro fertilization (IVF) plans will be delayed—but that doesn’t mean they must come to a halt. It can take up to four months to reach the embryo transfer phase of surrogacy, even without interruptions. So, it makes sense to start the process now. The first step is to identify a surrogate.

Newborn Advantage selects top quality surrogates, drawing from connections built over our 15 years of experience. Using videoconferencing, we can conduct a virtual meeting to determine your needs and personal preferences. Then, we will present you multiple surrogate options, selecting candidates based on factors like personality, medical decisions, like-mindedness, and relationship preferences after birth. Now is a perfect time to begin reviewing surrogate profiles, and choosing your ideal surrogate match.

3. Get to know your surrogate.

Once you choose a surrogate, Newborn Advantage can arrange an introduction and facilitate virtual meetings to introduce all parties, discuss goals, and talk about important surrogacy decisions. Because intended parents are often matched with surrogates in other states or countries, we are accustomed to setting up meetings via videoconference, making this step in the process no different than it was before COVID-19.

4. Draft a legal contract.

The next step in the surrogacy process is to draft a legal surrogacy contract. Newborn Advantage has access to experienced surrogacy attorneys who will work with you to create a contract that protects your interests and follows the surrogacy laws where your surrogate resides. Legal discussions and signing can be conducted virtually, and in full compliance with social distancing measures.

5. Start early screening.

As we wait for fertility centers to re-open, there are a few medical processes that can be conducted now, remotely. One is a psychological screening for the surrogate you select. This can be done via telemedicine visit. Your doctor can also begin reviewing your surrogate’s medical records, to ensure she is healthy enough for surrogacy.

6. Decorate the nursery.

From picking out baby names, to picking out colors and patterns for the baby room, to buying diapers and bottles, there are many aspects of family planning that don’t require a single doctor visit. Use your time now to start thinking about all the fun aspects of welcoming a new child into your family.

Make plans today to grow your family.

Today, COVID-19 is on everyone’s mind—and we are all exercising caution and following recommendations to prevent its spread. While the pandemic may temporarily interrupt medical procedures, it doesn’t mean we should stop planning for the future. The sooner you begin the surrogacy process, the more prepared you will be when fertility clinics re-open, and IVF can begin. One thing is for sure: at Newborn Advantage, we will be with you every step of the way.

Gestational surrogacy is filled with joys and surprises—and one of the most exciting moments is when you find out whether you’re having a boy or a girl. If you’re an intended parent, you are probably anxiously awaiting this news. Or, if you already know, you may be wondering what it will be like to raise a child of that gender—especially if it is different from your own. In this blog, we’ll talk about gender hopes and disappointments, gender expectations vs. reality, and how to prepare for a boy or a girl.

Gender Hopes (and Disappointments)

No one wants to admit they are secretly hoping for a boy or a girl. But let’s face it—most of us are. You may dream of shopping for sweet little dresses trimmed with ruffles and lace, taking your daughter to ballet classes, or getting mani-pedis with your mini-me as she grows older. Or, you may hope for a baby boy, and imagine a future filled with fishing trips, baseball games, frogs and dirt. Many parents would be happy to have a boy and a girl, and are disappointed if their second child is the same gender as the first.

As much as you know you’ll love your new baby, gender disappointment is a real thing, and it’s normal to feel let down if you learn that you’re having a boy when you wanted a girl, or vice versa. The good news? You’re likely to be so thrilled with your new baby (or so tired from lack of sleep) that any disappointment over gender will quickly fall by the wayside after he or she is born. What’s more, you may be surprised to discover your child’s unique personality and individual interests are far more interesting than what society expects from his or her gender.

Gender Expectations vs. Reality
Many girls refuse to wear pink and would rather play in the dirt or kick a ball, than play with a doll. Plenty of boys aren’t interested in sports, and prefer video games, art, music or dance to football and roughhousing. Keep an open mind and let your child explore their own interests as they learn and grow. It can be fun to find out what talents your child may have. You may also find that supporting your child’s interests helps you develop new ones. For example, you may have never enjoyed live theater—but when you’re watching your own child onstage, it’s suddenly a lot more interesting.

Are Boys Really All That Different from Girls?

As mentioned above, it really depends on the boy or girl. You may have heard that boys are more noisy, rowdy, and difficult to manage. Or that girls are quieter, more well-behaved and easier to potty train. However, if you talk to parents with two or more children, you are more likely to hear about differences between one child and another, than one gender and another. It’s common for one child to be an “easy baby” while another is more challenging. Or, one child will be outgoing and bubbly, while another is more quiet and reserved. Ask your friends who have children what they think. Then, prepare to be surprised by your own child’s behavior.

How to Prepare for a Boy or a Girl

In the not-so-distant past, parents had no idea whether they were having a boy or a girl until the day their child was born. So, they bought gender-neutral baby clothes, made predictions based on the shape and size of a woman’s stomach, and generally waited to buy pink or blue accessories until the big day. Now, we can find out a baby’s gender months in advance—but whether it’s a boy or a girl, a newborn’s needs are the same. Your baby needs love, acceptance, nutrition, shelter, and of course, lots and lots of diapers.

Go ahead and shop for the things you’ll need right away, register for the things you want, and spend the energy you have leftover on yourself and your partner, if you have one. Read books about caring for a newborn, buy a journal to write your thoughts if you’re so inclined, and spend as much time as you can doing activities you enjoy. It’s impossible to know whether your baby will grow up to be the kind of person who loves a day at the museum, a night out at a nice restaurant, or a professional basketball game, but one thing is for sure. It’s a lot easier to do those things before you have a baby. So soak them in while you can, and get ready for an amazing adventure after your child is born. You’re going to love it.

Ready to welcome your baby boy or girl into the world?

Newborn Advantage can help you find the right gestational surrogate for your new baby. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions.

When you begin the process of starting a relationship with a surrogate, you are setting out on one of the most significant, powerful, and important encounters you’ll ever have in life. This will be an encounter that will eventually evoke the little one you’ve always longed for; a priceless gift.

At Newborn Advantage, we invest wholeheartedly in helping you to understand your child rearing dream. In doing so, we lay out the surrogacy cost subtleties that each expected parent must know from the very first moment. Here is a breakdown of our surrogacy cost data, which will assist you with planning your excursion all the more successfully.

The holidays are over, and we hope you’ve enjoyed sharing gifts and time with friends and family. As we prepare to begin a new year, we thought it might be fun to reflect on the best gifts surrogates and intended parents (IPs) received from one another during the holidays, and beyond.

Surrogates and IPs have a special relationship that starts before pregnancy, and often continues after the child is born—so it makes sense that they would want to give one another something memorable for the holidays. However, these surrogate and IP gift ideas aren’t just for holidays. You may want to give a gift at the birth, on a birthday, or during the pregnancy. Of course, gift giving is by no means required. It’s just one more way for surrogates and IPs to strengthen their relationship, and say “Thanks” for the experience of a lifetime.

Surrogate Gift Ideas:

Surrogates give IPs something truly priceless: the ability to grow their family through the birth of a child. Here are a few of the gifts surrogates say they love receiving most:

Personalized Jewelry

Charm bracelets and necklaces with birthstones for a surrogate’s own children, along with the birthstone for an IP child, are a treasured memento of your shared journey.

Gift Baskets

Personal care items like scented lotion, comfortable socks, prenatal vitamins and herbal tea are a warm way to show a surrogate you care about her health, happiness and comfort.

Massage

Pregnancy massages can help surrogates de-stress and relax. A massage is also a welcome gift after pregnancy, soothing tired muscles.

Manicure or Pedicure

A little self-care can go a long way. Gift certificates for manicures and pedicures are always favorite surrogate gifts.

Housecleaning and/or Meal Delivery Services

Who wouldn’t love free house cleaning and a fresh-cooked meal? Housework can be a struggle when you’re pregnant, making this an outstanding gift.

Gifts for Children

Surrogates’ children are sharing their mother with another family for more than nine months—so some IPs choose to give them gifts, like, books, games, toys or snacks. The gesture is definitely appreciated.

Souvenir Gifts

IPs and surrogates may live many miles away from one another, in different cities, states, or even different countries. Surrogates say they enjoy receiving gifts from the places IPs call home—such as unique cookies or candies made only in your hometown.

Vacation

While this is certainly not a typical gift, it’s definitely an incredible one: One surrogate said her IPs sent her entire family to Disneyland, all expenses paid. Wow!

Family Photos

IPs often send photos of their family to their surrogates, showing how it has grown over the years. This is an easy way to show your surrogate what a big difference she has made, for a small cost.

Birthday Gifts

Many surrogates say they appreciate getting an annual birthday card or small gift from their IPs. Some IPs continue to remember surrogate birthdays, long after the baby’s birth.

Mother’s Day Gifts

Some IPs send flowers on Mother’s Day, to thank surrogates for helping become mothers, too.

Note of Thanks

A handwritten note or letter costs next to nothing, but is worth so much to the recipient, who will carry your words of gratitude with them forever.

IP Gift ideas:

Surrogates are very generous people—so they may want to give a special gift to their IPs as well. Many of the above ideas, like birthstone jewelry or meal services (great for new parents), could also make excellent gifts for IPs. Here are a few of the best IP gift ideas we found online:

Personalized Christmas Ornaments

An ornament engraved with the new baby’s name is a sweet seasonal gift that will be enjoyed every year.

Baby Clothing, Nursery Décor and Gifts

Cute baby clothing, toys, bottles, blankets and other new-parent gifts are always appropriate and appreciated.

Ultrasound Gifts

Today, you can get many gifts items personalized with ultrasound images or recordings of a baby’s heartbeat—from framed photos, to jewelry, to keychains and more.

Photo Album

Share photos from your pregnancy and the baby’s birth in a special album or photo book.

Restaurant Gift Cards

New parents are often overwhelmed with the responsibilities of caring for a baby. A restaurant gift card could give IPs a much-needed date night—or just a night off from cooking.

Movie Night at Home

Fill a popcorn bucket or bowl with a bag of popcorn, movie snacks and a DVD or Redbox gift card to help new parents relax and enjoy a night in.

Unique “Birthday” Gifts

Years after the baby’s birth, it can be fun to hold a memento from the day they were born. IPs (and children) may enjoy looking back on a newspaper from this day, a book of famous birthdays, or a photo of the night sky the day the child was born.

Interested in surrogacy?

Surrogacy is a special gift that continues to benefit both giver and recipient for years to come. If you’re an IP or surrogate interested in beginning a new surrogacy journey, feel free to reach out to Newborn Advantage with any questions you may have. We look forward to hearing from you.

847-989-8628