Three gestational surrogates share their experiences as a surrogate mother
In recent years, gestational surrogacy has made healthy pregnancy possible for many parents who were not able to carry a child on their own. Using a surrogate allows intended parents to welcome a child into the world who is biologically connected to them. It’s an incredible thing. But have you ever wondered, “How does it feel to be a surrogate mother?” At Newborn Advantage, we work with gestational surrogates every day—so we asked a few of them to share what it’s like to be a surrogate. Here are their stories.
Jasmin had four healthy children of her own when she decided to become a gestational surrogate. She has since carried two children for other families, as a Newborn Advantage Surrogate. The first child she delivered was born on July 4, 2017.
“It was so special,” she remembers. “Both dads were there, and their reaction, seeing their baby for the first time, made it all worth it.”
Jasmin admits that pregnancy isn’t her favorite part of surrogacy, although she’s used to the aches and pains of carrying a child by now. “My favorite part is the delivery,” she says. “Seeing what my body is able to do is amazing.”
She also enjoys the friendships that are formed with the families she works with. Both couples send letters, thank you notes and photos of their children.
Many parents wonder if it’s hard for surrogates to give the child they carried back to its parents. But for Jasmine, it isn’t difficult at all.
“It’s not like I’m giving my baby up. It is their baby,” she says. “The doctor transferred it to me nine months ago, and now I am just giving it back.” The explanation makes sense, because gestational surrogates are not genetically related to the children they carry—although the child is genetically related to one or both of its intended parents. “It just feels like a friend’s baby,” Jasmin says.
For Jasmin, working with Newborn Advantage has been smooth and easy, and she recommends that anyone considering surrogacy should also consider working with a surrogacy agency.
“Newborn Advantage covered my medical and travel expenses, booked hotels for me, arranged rental cars, helped me with my health insurance, and handled the financial aspects, too. It was a very good experience,” she said. “If you have any questions or worries about the process, they take the time to answer your questions and ease your concerns—and there is never any pressure.”
Christina has three children, and is currently pregnant—but the baby she’s carrying is not her own. She has been a surrogate mother for four couples with Newborn Advantage, helping families all over the world—in Switzerland, India, New York, and now, London. Like Jasmin, she appreciates the friendships she has gained.
“Mindy does a really good job of matching personalities. That is definitely a trait she has that is second to none,” Christina said. “I have formed friendships with all four of the couples I have been paired with. In fact, with my first couple, I got more attached to the family, than to the baby I was carrying for them.”
Christina enjoys getting to know the couple she is helping, and sharing in their joy and tears throughout the process—over the months leading up to a pregnancy, during the pregnancy itself, and even after the birth of a child.
“Turning a baby over to the parents for the first time, it is in that moment that you feel complete—happy, whole, and overjoyed for them,” she says
Giving to others comes naturally to Christina, who, in addition to being a gestational surrogate, is also a volunteer firefighter and a career EMT.
“I have three beautiful children myself, and surrogacy is a little something of me that I can give to other women who have struggled to become pregnant,” she says. “People often say, ‘I could never be a surrogate,’ or, ‘I couldn’t be firefighter or an EMT, and run into a burning building.’ Well, I can. I can do it, I choose to do it, and it completes my soul being able to give that part of me to people who can’t or are unable to.”
Olivia recently completed her first-ever surrogacy experience with Newborn Advantage.
“They helped make the experience so enjoyable,” she said. “Everything was done in a timely manner. Doctor bills were always paid quickly, if I needed flights or hotels it was always done promptly, and compensation was always on time.”
Surrogacy is very personal, and communication is important throughout the journey.
“They were always checking up on me and asking how I was doing and feeling,” Cappel said. “I didn’t feel like I was just another client to them; they made me feel appreciated.”
Surrogates Make it Possible
Newborn Advantage would not exist without surrogates—and we are very grateful to each one who works with our agency.
“I have had the privilege and honor of working with such fabulous, selfless women over the past 14 years,” said Mindy Berkson, Surrogacy Consultant at Newborn Advantage. “I am consistently impressed with their morals, values, ethics, the genuine hearts that bring them to surrogacy, and the gift they give to make others so happy.”
Where can I find a surrogate?
Considering using a surrogate mother? Contact Newborn Advantage today to work with the highest quality surrogates in the industry. We look forward to hearing from you.